More than a third of people are worried elderly relatives may now need extra care after noticing worrying changes over the Christmas period, new research has found. The festive break highlighted a range of red flags, with the most common being confusion and memory problems, changes in mood and behaviour and increased frailty or mobility issues.

But the study, by Person Centred Software, also found that 64% of people delay talking to elderly people about needing more help. Reasons for waiting include not wanting to worry to upset their relative and not knowing how to start the conversation.

Negative media coverage and TV dramas portraying care homes as places of poor quality and neglect were also blamed. As a result, 41% said care homes were the same or worse than they were 10 to 15 years ago, despite 56% having not set foot in one in the past two years.

Jemma Robinson, a former registered care home manager and Chief Operating Officer at Person Centred Software, said: “We believe that January is an ideal time to have a conversation about care, particularly if changes are noticed over Christmas. Far better to have the conversation straight away than wait for a crisis, when stress is high and care choices are limited."

The research also revealed that reluctance to talk about care is rooted in fear. Top concerns included quality of care and attention their loved one would receive, cost and affordability, and worries that their loved one would feel abandoned or lose their independence or dignity.

Marina Glaves, a registered carer and manager at Pearlcare homes, said: "Families arrive with the idea that care homes are like old workhouses - restrictive places where residents have all decisions made for them. The modern care home is quite the opposite: lively, bustling places full of joy where people thrive. Residents are involved in how the home runs, what happens day-to-day, what they eat, and how they spend their time.

“I can think of one resident whose sister was devastated when he moved here, convinced a care home was wrong for him. Four years on, she tells us: 'Why did I put myself through that stress when he's so happy now?'”

To help families have ‘That Care Home Conversation’ there is advice on how to get started.